Welcome to Gems of Wisdom. I’ll be sharing tips on how to deal with bad days. The truth is – we all have bad days! The problem is – some people allow a bad day to turn into bad weeks, bad months and bad years. Here’s another truth…no one is in charge of your mood but you. No one can hurt your feelings and no one can MAKE you mad. I know this flies in the face of everyone in the world believing they are a victim, but once you accept the responsibility that you CHOOSE to give your power away to outside circumstances then you can CHOOSE to take it all back! All you have to do is have the awareness of, at every moment in my life, I am 100% responsible for my own happiness. The outside world may or may not help me become happy. However, I have this choice to make every single day. That is my power. My choice is to NOT give my power away to technology, situations or other people.
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The one great secret to not having bad days is to give yourself permission to not take other people’s behaviors personally. If you really look at most people, they are unconsciously going through life doing the best that they can. They are not deliberately trying to hurt your feelings or ignore you. The truth is – they have very little bandwidth to think of anything but themselves.
So, when you’re having a bad day because something has gone wrong, I want you to remember that there are mind-hacks that you can do to break the cycle. They are:
1) You cannot think of two things at the same time. If you’re thinking about what a bad day you’re having, you can’t be thinking about all of the wonderful things that are happening in your life. Since your mind can only focus in on one thing at a time and what your mind focuses on EXPANDS – it is your job EVERYDAY to focus on the things that make you happy, make you feel better or that you have control over. It really is a decision to do a pattern interrupt at this point.
2) Develop the skill of AWARENESS. When something has gone “bad” – stop and notice how it makes you feel. Give yourself permission, for a moment, to say ok this is the way it is. However, I do have the power to change that. NOTE: When you’re not feeling good – you’re not in a good state of mind to make clear decisions or to be effective in whatever you’re doing. This is why interrupting that thought pattern is so important at this stage.
3) Now take a few moments to focus in on something that makes you feel GOOD. It can be anything – petting your dog or cat, listening to your favorite song, going outside for a few moments to take in the beauty around you or to enjoy the sunshine, calling a friend and just chat for a few minutes. It just needs to be any kind of pattern interrupt where you’re not thinking of the bad day or the bad thing that just happened.
4) In this step, you need to FORGIVE YOURSELF and EVERYONE for the parts they played in the bad day or bad thing that happened. There are bad things that happened throughout our days but our THOUGHTS about those things tend to make them worse than they actually were.
Remember, every time you point your finger out at someone – you have three pointing back at you!
5) REFRAME the event. Put the event or events in perspective. If you think about it – in the great scheme of life and the universe, our problems are pretty insignificant.
6) Write a short list of what you’re grateful for or put yourself in a mental space of being of service to someone else.
7) Ask yourself, where is this pattern from? Who taught this to me? You may be surprised that you picked up this negative belief pattern from someone in your life – but it doesn’t really suit who YOU are. You can CHOOSE to change the belief pattern. You can choose a different outcome from the situation. You can be very proactive in visualizing what you want in life when these situations come up and SCRIPT a different outcome.
8) Realize that it’s your job to look for solutions in life. Stop focusing on the negative “bad” day’s events. Your POWER in life is seeking out the solutions to the challenges you face.
I hope you utilize these hacks when you feel a bad day is upon you. Remember, in the big scheme of your life – you probably won’t remember what happened. Stop spending $100 worth of energy on a 10 cent problem!
If you’d like more information like this – Join us for our Vision Quest for Profit & Purpose in Virginia Beach, VA
on October 5-6, 2017 www.visionquestvabeach.com