Today I want to talk about something that is absolutely crucial for every human being on earth and that is to harness your own energy better than you have been doing up to this point.
Your daily habits literally determine how successful you are in your life.
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We all have Five Types of Energy – which are your life currency and they are mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and financial. We each only have so much energy each and every day. When we aim those energies towards fixing other people’s problems, when they haven’t asked for your help – we are depleting ourselves of the energies we need to have a successful life of our own. It is out of integrity to help someone who hasn’t asked for your help! If someone ASKS you for help – that’s a different story. But, you have to ask yourself how much of your own limited energy are you using every single day to fix other people’s problems who aren’t grateful, don’t listen to your advice, don’t appreciate the information you are sharing with them and who merrily go on their own way ignoring your advice – which frustrates you.
New plan! The best habit you can have every single day is to TRUST that most people have the ability to figure things out for themselves if you give them that opportunity.
So, if you have adult children and you’re fixing their problems every single day – you’re teaching them to come to YOU to fix their problems. If you have staff in your business that you are constantly fixing all of their problems – you aren’t giving them the chance to learn the skills. When they learn these skills – that’s what builds true self-confidence.
Food for thought: If people have problems and you take on their problems as your own because you think it’s just easier to fix their problems than focus on your own issues – Unless you are getting paid as a coach, you are out of integrity with yourself. Your job in life is to have your own goal and aspirations in life and to use your life energies towards making those dreams happen. When you take on other people’s issues as your own – you are wasting your life energy and end up depleted, with no energy left to work on your own growth. Stop trying to fix everyone around you and focus on yourself.
Habit Busting Tip: I want you to break the habit of AUTOMATICALLY trying to fix everyone’s problems unless you’re getting paid as a life coach to do so. What I want you to start doing is remain NEUTRAL. When someone comes to you with a problem remain neutral and supportive. Just say to them, “I know you can figure this out. I know you’ll find the right references and resources to help you figure this out.” Let them be. Let them learn to figure things out on their own. It is not your job to fix everybody on earth. It’s your job to fix YOURSELF!
On a regular basis, if I have staff come to me with an issue, I have them come to me with three solutions that they’ve taken the time to come up with on their own. Sometimes those solutions work and sometimes they don’t, but that isn’t the point. The key is that they are learning to think and come up with their own solutions before coming to me. They are learning to not rely on me to come up with solutions. Your kids and friends need that from you, too!
So, your job is to enforce your boundaries, to create good habits of supporting people. Tell them (if they ask) they are smart, offer books to read, suggest things to do to be productive in figuring out their challenges. It is NOT your job to dig in, forget your own life, forget your own schedule, or forget your own boundaries and to get so emotionally involved in other people’s problems that you’re trying to fix them for them. That is NOT YOUR JOB! Unless you are a life coach and you’re getting paid – it is NOT YOUR JOB!
You were born to take care of YOURSELF. Give yourself permission to truly focus your energy on achieving your goals, your dreams, and your aspirations. I promise you, you will not only be more productive – you’ll feel so much happier in life when you give up the responsibility of being all things to all people.
Your job is to love and nurture your own life and to be an EXAMPLE to others. You don’t have to fix their life for them – you can simply be an example.
Magic, Love & Light,
P.S. I am holding my next Vision Quest in my hometown of Virginia Beach, Virginia October 5-6, 2017.
If you’re interested in finding out more – go to www.visionquestvabeach.com!