Today we’re going to talk about failure, setbacks, and disappointment. Welcome to being human! Everybody has failures, setbacks, and disappointments. It’s how you HANDLE THEM that counts!
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Here’s the truth – the one thing that you MUST do when you have these things is expel this energy from your body and from your mind. You can do it by taking a hard walk. You can do it by some vigorous exercise. You can do it by writing in your journal or talking to a trusted friend. But you must give yourself a time limit on how long you’re going to mourn the situation. For example, I give myself 20-30 minutes to mourn the situation. If it’s really bad, then maybe I give myself an hour but then I give myself a reality-check to remind myself that “What I focus on expands”. So, here’s the truth: Within every disaster there is a seed of something new that can be born if you’re willing to look for it. If you start to look at the situation as “Ok, maybe the “Universe” (God) doesn’t want me to go in that direction because it’s not in my highest and best good. Maybe there’s something much better for me if I don’t go in that direction.” Take that knowledge and start to look for other opportunities.
A number of years ago I worked for a promoter in Canada and did very well with them. My bookings were full, I made a lot of money and I loved working with these people. One month I didn’t get a check from them when they were always on time. I called them up and they just said they were having some hiccups. The next month I didn’t get a check. By the third month I knew something was desperately wrong. Sure enough they were bankrupt. I don’t mind telling you that I was deeply disappointed. My books went from full to almost empty and there was a lot of money I needed to replace very quickly. So, I walked on the beach and AFTER I got rid of the anger, frustration, and victimhood I REFRAMED this and started asking questions because QUESTIONS are the secret of success. Here are the questions I asked myself:
- How can I use this situation and make money from it?
- What is the benefit of this situation going bad?
- What are my next steps to benefit from this situation?
Within 24 hours, in the shower of all places (which is a magical place for me with all of that tile and water), I got a “hit” to go call the trustees of the bankruptcy and try to buy the booking company’s mailing list. They had no idea how much that mailing list was worth! I bought it for a song and hired a couple of the employees from the booking company and started my own company in Toronto (remember, I’m from Virginia Beach, Virginia) with a partner in Canada and we formed Milteer & Ross. That company minted money! We made seminars ROCK for Canadian government employees. I’m telling you it was a phenomenal deal. I made triple the money because instead of staying depressed and down, I turned the whole thing into a reframing to look for way to make it work for me.
Every day in your life there are going to be disappointments. Get out of victimhood! I know when I say that I am annoying many people who just love to live in victimhood. But remember, LIFE IS A MIRROR. It’s a reflection of you. When you go into victimhood with thoughts like:
“I’m not worthy.”
“Nobody loves me.”
“Nobody recognizes me.”
“Nobody appreciates me.”
“Everything I touch falls to hell in a handbasket.”
When you’re in the mindset of only seeing things through that filter, you’re only going to attract more of THAT into your life.
Again, THERE IS A SEED OF OPPORTUNITY IN EVERY DISAPPOINTMENT OR “NEGATIVE” SITUATION but you need to give yourself permission to stop the negativity and complaining. Give yourself a few minutes to expel it out and then start looking for ways to take your personal power back. You need to realize that complaining is an addiction that keeps you weak and in victimhood.
Since the world is a reflection of you – you need to reframe your thinking towards thoughts like:
“Good things are coming happening to me.”
“I know this has happened for my highest and best good.”
“This is not a reflection of my personal worth or value. It’s just a challenge and challenges can be overcome.”
Start keeping what I call an “Evidence Book.” In this book write down all of the positive things that come your way. Even the smallest of things. Then refer back to this book when you’re having a day when things just don’t seem to be going your way. This is the perfect negative thinking PATTERN INTERRUPT to get your brain back on track to look for solutions instead of wallowing in the muck and mire of the situation.
This past month I had a huge disappointment. I had trained someone for six months to be my personal assistant but due to some medical issues that were totally unexpected she had to resign. For the first 30-minutes I was pretty ticked off, upset, and confused. But I took it as a sign that I need to look at my life differently. I asked myself if I really need a full-time, in-my-office assistant OR should I consider other avenues? Maybe a virtual assistant would be enough. I could then rent out the open offices in my office building and add to my income that way. What this change has done for me is opened up in my mind a whole new set of questions. Remember – questions are the secret of success.
So, when you have a negative day with setbacks and failures – love yourself enough to let the negative energy out for a short period of time, stop complaining and looking for way to take the negative situation and flip it around to be a stepping stone for something fabulous in your life!
This week I want to talk about a subject most people don’t want to talk about. It’s a subconscious block that keeps you from being successful. That subconscious block is the lack of integrity in keeping your promises to yourself and others. You talk to yourself and promise yourself that you will complete certain projects or be somewhere at certain times or you have signed up for something and you promise to be there but you fail to show up. You’re making commitments in the world and to yourself that you do not keep and that lack of integrity with your word is holding you back from achieving the success you desire.
The problem is – if you make commitments in the world that you’ll be at a seminar, webinar, or meeting at a certain time or you will provide something at a certain time and you don’t do it, you are only hurting YOURSELF because your subconscious mind no longer trusts you. Meaning that your intuition and instincts will decline, you’ll have less motivation to do things and you’ll have less will-power. This happens because that part of you (your subconscious mind) has been told over and over again, “Monday morning I’m going to start that exercise program” or “I’m going to go on that diet” but then you don’t do it or how about “Tuesday, I’m going to write that sales letter or call so-and-so” and you don’t do it. It goes on and on.
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After a while, you alienate the number one ally that you have in life – YOURSELF. You have lied to yourself, you’re out of integrity and have been totally flaking out. I know these are very painful words to hear, but it’s TRUE.
Think about working with other people. We’d all love for money to just fall from the skies, but the truth is that you have to provide a service, product or something of value to another human being that they will pay you for. If you extend yourself and you tell a possible client, customer or patient that you or your office is going to do something and it doesn’t show up exactly the minute you said it would show up, a little red flag goes off in their head that says “that person promised me this, and they didn’t follow up.” Now, there’s a trust issue.
I’ve learned over the years to pay attention to those red flags because if you don’t – you will be sorry. Those red flags to me are: someone said they’d be somewhere or provide something at a certain time and they don’t show up or do it – I already know those people are disorganized, don’t have a commitment to their word and that they are out of integrity. So, why should I do business with this person? If they make this kind of impression on me in the beginning – it says a lot about how the rest of the relationship will be handled.
If you promise something to someone and you cannot fulfill that commitment– reach out right away to reschedule or renegotiate the terms of the commitment you made. Apologize, give a quick explanation and ask to reschedule. If you promise people things and you promise yourself things and you do not follow up, that can be one of the most devastating habits you can create in your life.
Our society is filled with people that do nothing but make excuses. They are so self-centered that they think the whole world revolves around them. We have really formed a society based on an entitlement mentality. Sadly, if you fall into that mentality accidentally by hanging out with these types of people, where you’ve lost integrity with yourself and with the people around you – this is going to hurt you financially.
You need to get in the habit of making a list DAILY of the things you are going to accomplish that day. Put it on your calendar, blocking off time to get done those things that will move you forward in life.
If you don’t create a plan and stick to it – you won’t achieve the success you desire in life.
Once you stop lying to yourself and being a flake when it comes to your commitments to yourself and others – not only will other people notice but your subconscious mind will start trusting you again.
To Your Success,
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I’m also getting ready to hold the next Vision Quest this fall and it will be here in Virginia Beach, VA. For more information about that event —-> CLICK HERE!
How about “Reclaiming the Magic” of your intuition? Start checking-in with your intuition about relationship challenges, new business opportunities, financial decisions, parenting decisions and the like. Intuition is a natural human function (like your five senses) and is your closest adviser when you take the time to develop it.
Known by many names (such as gut feeling, a hunch, sixth sense, instinct, and strong feeling) intuition is one of the best tools you can use. Unfortunately, we are trained by our Western culture to understand almost all of our experiences through the logical, linear thinking processes. For hundreds of thousands of years, humans survived on instincts. Modern society has taken the emphasis off of the important “I Feel” and has put it on the “I think” when it comes to decision-making.
However, today, more and more successful people are realizing that you must use both sides of your brain to make decisions.
Trust Your Intuition
Ours is a world where science has succeeded in explaining most observable phenomena, which makes it hard for so many people to accept things that are unexplained as being real.
There are lots of times where you may have experienced some instance of mental telepathy and considered it to be “just a coincidence”. Physicists and psychologists say there is evidence of an energy link between everything in the universe. Everything that happens is simultaneously encoded in this energy pattern, which makes telepathy and clairvoyance more plausible, and certainly gives us a deeper understanding about how intuition works.
Sending you blessings and light,
If you have lost your passion and enthusiasm for life, relationships, work or goals, you need to rekindle the fire and remind yourself what is good about the areas of your life that you have let become tarnished.
Take the time to write a list of the positive things about these areas of your life. Post this list in a place where you can see it daily to remind yourself of how YOU are choosing how to spend your life energy. Truly passionate and enthusiastic people tend to achieve their goals faster. It’s a wise person who is invested in both the journey and the goal. Don’t lose sight of your partnership with Infinite Intelligence and the fact that your life is your ministry. Remember the King or Queen within you! Where is your Kingdom and how can you reignite the love for yourself and your life again?
Action is the Key!
The secret to getting ahead is getting started and moving towards the goal you want. If you become sincerely engaged, your intuition will inspire you to read certain books, allow you to find needed resources, and present opportunities for you to learn more. Make it a point to take action on at least one of your goals every day. Reward yourself at the end of the day for moving ahead. Do not just sit and think about what you want to do. Get Enthusiastic and DO IT!
Sending you blessings and light,
The above quote by Rumi “As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears” has always been relevant for me from the time I started in business – with no money, no contacts and no clue how I would be able to pull anything off. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and envisioned what I wanted to happen. I listened to my spirit and intuition about what to do next. I worked hard each day on my goal of becoming what I wanted to be. I simply trusted my inner guides that I was at the right place at the right time and I would be guided… and I was. As I started to “walk out on the way”… the way always appeared. It will for you too.
I know that when I left my old, very famous partnership last year (where I was paid beyond well and got tons of PR), many people thought I was crazy to give up such a position of authority. To them it appeared counter intuitive to leave such as well-known, established organization that afforded me many benefits. Yet inside of me, I knew that what had once been great for me had ended and it was now time for something else to be great for me!
Once I fully accepted that my inner self was now guiding me to a new place, the entire world opened up for me with new ideas and partnerships. About a year ago my partner Lily Noon and I met in Sedona Arizona to decide what we wanted to do that would have a big impact on others. We both knew, once we got to Sedona, that a Vision Quest for Wealth Creation was the answer.
The truth is most people keep doing whatever they are doing whether or not it makes them happy- and this is very sad. Everyone needs a pattern interrupt in their lives to clarify the necessary steps not only for personal growth but for soul growth as well. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “ The only person you are DESTINED to become is the person you DECIDE to be.”
So bottom line, I decided to expand myself and offer Vision Quest Retreats because I love helping people manifest the life they want and deserve. It is so rewarding for me to watch my students as they go from being timid and unsure of themselves to completely changed beings that have massive confidence and clarity. Remember the BEST project you’ll ever work on is YOU! Life really is a fun adventure and you must use your life and time to fulfill your deepest desires. As they say, this is not a dress rehearsal!
I will be sharing more about my upcoming events in the near future. Why not pass along this ezine to loved ones and friends if you feel they will benefit from my teachings? My deepest wish and intention is to help you and others discover your authentic selves and then reap the rewards of life that you deserve.
Magic and Love to you