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Is Your Focus Like a Shotgun or Laser Beam?

Is Your Focus Like a Shotgun or Laser Beam?

Let me ask you a question……Where are you out of integrity with your own goals? That means – where have you put other people ahead of your own goals? Where are you flaking out and not following up? Where are you procrastinating? Where are you really AFRAID to go for it?

<<<<———–Click on the image below to watch the video ————–>>>>

The reason I want to talk about this topic this week is that everything is made up of momentum and energy and it’s based on the amount of ENERGY and FOCUS that you have. Do you have a shotgun focus that is just spreading around or do you have laser beam focus about what you want?  I will honestly tell you that one of the reasons I have become successful in life is that I have this very determined, persistent focus. The old joke is not to get between me and my goals. I am very focused and very laser beam. I do not dilute my energy in other places when I want something.

To really succeed in today’s world and to be massively successful, to break all of your bad habits, to really focus your energy in ways that allow you to achieve what you want to in life – you must put your blinders on about what other people are doing. Years ago I spoke with Marlo Thomas (Danny Thomas’ daughter. He was very famous actor years ago.) on stage and he gave her some great advice that has really stuck with me, which was to “put on your blinders in life and run your own race.” That is what I want to impart to you today.

Remember, this is YOUR race and YOUR life. Just because other people do it other ways doesn’t mean that you have to copy them or emulate them. It’s nice to learn from other people but your soul has its own calling and it may not align with any other soul’s calling. It doesn’t make any difference. Your life is your life! Where are you out of integrity with getting what you want? Where are you playing small, just allowing life to pass you by? Are you under the impression something is just going to magically happen in life to save you?

I’m here to remind you that YOU are the savior in your own life. That’s right, nobody else but you. Most people cannot seem to get that. They secretly hope that someone will “discover” them and then suddenly life will be miraculously shifted and changed. Here is the truth…YOU have to discover YOU. You are the star, director, and editor of your own life! You have to give yourself permission to go after what you want in life. Now, does that mean that going after what you want is hard sometimes? Absolutely! But you just need to take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes small steps create great careers!

Every day – take your attention away from the unnecessary. The insane news that does nothing but cause distress for everyone. Put it aside. Other people’s problems that are not your problems. Put them aside. How you have made mistakes in the past. Forgive yourself and put them aside.

Your job every day is to wake up in the morning and have a new perspective on your life. You will have new information and new knowledge. Every day is a new opportunity, no matter how many times things have been messed up in the past, today could be that day where everything comes together. You’ve got to be ENTHUSIASTIC and EXCITED about life! You have got to LOVE YOURSELF that you focus your energy 100% on what you want to achieve!

You need to be open-minded, curious, and excited about gaining new knowledge. Learn to give yourself a break. Do the right thing for yourself every day. Use your critical thinking skills to discern what would be the highest activity that you could work on right now that would be a profitable, long-term good play for yourself?
It really is a matter of awareness and what you are telling yourself. If you’re telling yourself, “No matter what I do, it’s never going to work. I don’t seem to get a break. Life is not fair. Everybody else is successful, but not me” – you’re doomed! All inspiration has to come from within yourself. Other people can inspire you but you’re the one who has to put on the boots, go out in the yard and do the work.

Your point of power in this lifetime is this second in time. It’s not next week, next month or next year. It is RIGHT NOW! So love yourself and do things TODAY that will change the course of your reality. Be PROACTIVE.

A serious bad habit is waiting for life to happen to you. Your job is to chart the way. ACT and you will see that there is nothing on earth holding you back but YOU.  One way to figure out and clarify your dreams and aspirations in life is to join me in Virginia Beach, VA (my hometown) for my next Vision Quest Retreat October 5-6, 2017.  Sign up to be the first to receive the latest information here.

Magic, Love & Light,

Focus on Harnessing Your OWN Energy

Focus on Harnessing Your OWN Energy

Today I want to talk about something that is absolutely crucial for every human being on earth and that is to harness your own energy better than you have been doing up to this point.

Your daily habits literally determine how successful you are in your life.

<——Click Image Below to Watch Video—–>

How you honor your own boundaries, end your own bad habits, and how you create success and profit in your life all determine the degree of success you have in life.

We all have Five Types of Energy – which are your life currency and they are mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and financial.  We each only have so much energy each and every day.  When we aim those energies towards fixing other people’s problems, when they haven’t asked for your help – we are depleting ourselves of the energies we need to have a successful life of our own.  It is out of integrity to help someone who hasn’t asked for your help!  If someone ASKS you for help – that’s a different story.  But, you have to ask yourself how much of your own limited energy are you using every single day to fix other people’s problems who aren’t grateful, don’t listen to your advice, don’t appreciate the information you are sharing with them and who merrily go on their own way ignoring your advice – which frustrates you.

New plan!   The best habit you can have every single day is to TRUST that most people have the ability to figure things out for themselves if you give them that opportunity.

So, if you have adult children and you’re fixing their problems every single day – you’re teaching them to come to YOU to fix their problems. If you have staff in your business that you are constantly fixing all of their problems – you aren’t giving them the chance to learn the skills.  When they learn these skills – that’s what builds true self-confidence.

Food for thought:  If people have problems and you take on their problems as your own because you think it’s just easier to fix their problems than focus on your own issues – Unless you are getting paid as a coach, you are out of integrity with yourself.   Your job in life is to have your own goal and aspirations in life and to use your life energies towards making those dreams happen.  When you take on other people’s issues as your own – you are wasting your life energy and end up depleted, with no energy left to work on your own growth.  Stop trying to fix everyone around you and focus on yourself.

Habit Busting Tip: I want you to break the habit of AUTOMATICALLY trying to fix everyone’s problems unless you’re getting paid as a life coach to do so.  What I want you to start doing is remain NEUTRAL.  When someone comes to you with a problem remain neutral and supportive. Just say to them, “I know you can figure this out.  I know you’ll find the right references and resources to help you figure this out.”  Let them be.  Let them learn to figure things out on their own.  It is not your job to fix everybody on earth.  It’s your job to fix YOURSELF!

On a regular basis, if I have staff come to me with an issue, I have them come to me with three solutions that they’ve taken the time to come up with on their own.  Sometimes those solutions work and sometimes they don’t, but that isn’t the point. The key is that they are learning to think and come up with their own solutions before coming to me.  They are learning to not rely on me to come up with solutions.  Your kids and friends need that from you, too!

So, your job is to enforce your boundaries, to create good habits of supporting people.  Tell them (if they ask) they are smart, offer books to read, suggest things to do to be productive in figuring out their challenges.  It is NOT your job to dig in, forget your own life, forget your own schedule, or forget your own boundaries and to get so emotionally involved in other people’s problems that you’re trying to fix them for them.  That is NOT YOUR JOB!  Unless you are a life coach and you’re getting paid – it is NOT YOUR JOB!

You were born to take care of YOURSELF.   Give yourself permission to truly focus your energy on achieving your goals, your dreams, and your aspirations.  I promise you, you will not only be more productive – you’ll feel so much happier in life when you give up the responsibility of being all things to all people.

Your job is to love and nurture your own life and to be an EXAMPLE to others.  You don’t have to fix their life for them – you can simply be an example.

Magic, Love & Light,



P.S.  I am holding my next Vision Quest in my hometown of Virginia Beach, Virginia October 5-6, 2017.
If you’re interested in finding out more – go to!

Birthing a NEW Dream or Vision

Birthing a NEW Dream or Vision

Welcome to Gems of Wisdom!  Today I want to talk about something that is SUPER important that I truly believe most of us need to do.

Most of us need to sleep a little bit longer to wake up to a new dream.  Meaning…when you’re unsure about what you want to do in the future – stop taking so much frantic action trying to keep up with everyone else and what they are doing.

—-> Click on the image below to watch my video on this topic <—-

Here’s the truth:  What used to work in our business world to build our businesses (the Media, PR, Client Attraction & Acquisition) is not necessarily working anymore!  There are a lot of people in our world, jumping up in our faces, that just don’t have the credentials and they haven’t been around long enough to create a strong bio of what they’ve ACTUALLY accomplished.  Nowadays, there’s very little “barrier to entry” into the online or small business world and anyone can self-proclaim that they are a successful guru of this or that.  It’s very, very important to not get confused by all of this.   When you’re not sure about what YOU should be doing in your business – you need to give yourself time to dream a new dream.

Let me tell you a little story…

In 2001, as a professional speaker I was earning well over one million dollars a year working for clients like AT&T, Disney, NASA, Ford Global, etc.…  Some of these clients I’d had for over 12 years.  When 9/11 happened in 2001, over a period of 11 days I watched contract after contract collapse.  All of my loyalty to these big corporations over the years was NOT paid back.  I wasn’t the only speaker to lose their contracts – every speaker I knew lost contracts, too.  I lost ALL of my contracts in a short period of time.  It was scary to have no work!  I am a “saver” so I had money to live on, but I had to go back to the drawing board to determine what skills, talents, and abilities I had that I could use, but in a different way in order to stay in business.

That’s today’s focus for the Gems of Wisdom.  You see, you have a lot of skills, talents, and abilities but you also have this paradigm where you only see yourself in this little box. Because you only see yourself in this box – you don’t see all of the other opportunities you have available to you.  That’s what’s so great about being part of a Mastermind group.  You learn to see yourself through other’s perceptions of you – that have no attachment to your current paradigm. Another key here is that sometimes you have to take the time to dream more in order to come up with your new vision.

Now, I am actually going through this myself.  Several years ago, I was nothing but a performance and productivity coach who taught on mindset and heart set.  I love it, loved it, loved it!  I was very interested in manifesting, spirituality, and philosophy and really aimed my business in that direction. After a couple of years in that direction, I realized it was a nice experiment.  I made some money and made new friends but I realized my heart’s not going in that direction anymore. My heart is looking for a new dream.  I can feel it.  It’s like being pregnant. Pregnant with a new dream….a new ME.  My challenge, like yours, is to not push it so hard and so fast that I jump into something that is not fully developed yet.

One of my new adventures is holding my Vision Quest Retreat right here in Virginia Beach, Virginia October 5 & 6.  I am coming back to Virginia Beach because it’s my hometown, it has one of the largest beaches in the world and is a worldwide destination but also – it’s my new vision!  For more information click here.

Mind Hacks for Bad Days

Mind Hacks for Bad Days

Welcome to Gems of Wisdom. I’ll be sharing tips on how to deal with bad days. The truth is – we all have bad days! The problem is – some people allow a bad day to turn into bad weeks, bad months and bad years. Here’s another truth…no one is in charge of your mood but you. No one can hurt your feelings and no one can MAKE you mad. I know this flies in the face of everyone in the world believing they are a victim, but once you accept the responsibility that you CHOOSE to give your power away to outside circumstances then you can CHOOSE to take it all back! All you have to do is have the awareness of, at every moment in my life, I am 100% responsible for my own happiness. The outside world may or may not help me become happy. However, I have this choice to make every single day. That is my power. My choice is to NOT give my power away to technology, situations or other people.

——–>Click the image below to watch the video<——

The one great secret to not having bad days is to give yourself permission to not take other people’s behaviors personally. If you really look at most people, they are unconsciously going through life doing the best that they can. They are not deliberately trying to hurt your feelings or ignore you. The truth is – they have very little bandwidth to think of anything but themselves.

So, when you’re having a bad day because something has gone wrong, I want you to remember that there are mind-hacks that you can do to break the cycle. They are:

1) You cannot think of two things at the same time. If you’re thinking about what a bad day you’re having, you can’t be thinking about all of the wonderful things that are happening in your life. Since your mind can only focus in on one thing at a time and what your mind focuses on EXPANDS – it is your job EVERYDAY to focus on the things that make you happy, make you feel better or that you have control over. It really is a decision to do a pattern interrupt at this point.

2) Develop the skill of AWARENESS. When something has gone “bad” – stop and notice how it makes you feel. Give yourself permission, for a moment, to say ok this is the way it is. However, I do have the power to change that. NOTE: When you’re not feeling good – you’re not in a good state of mind to make clear decisions or to be effective in whatever you’re doing. This is why interrupting that thought pattern is so important at this stage.

3) Now take a few moments to focus in on something that makes you feel GOOD. It can be anything – petting your dog or cat, listening to your favorite song, going outside for a few moments to take in the beauty around you or to enjoy the sunshine, calling a friend and just chat for a few minutes. It just needs to be any kind of pattern interrupt where you’re not thinking of the bad day or the bad thing that just happened.

4) In this step, you need to FORGIVE YOURSELF and EVERYONE for the parts they played in the bad day or bad thing that happened. There are bad things that happened throughout our days but our THOUGHTS about those things tend to make them worse than they actually were.
Remember, every time you point your finger out at someone – you have three pointing back at you!

5) REFRAME the event. Put the event or events in perspective. If you think about it – in the great scheme of life and the universe, our problems are pretty insignificant.

6) Write a short list of what you’re grateful for or put yourself in a mental space of being of service to someone else.

7) Ask yourself, where is this pattern from? Who taught this to me? You may be surprised that you picked up this negative belief pattern from someone in your life – but it doesn’t really suit who YOU are. You can CHOOSE to change the belief pattern. You can choose a different outcome from the situation. You can be very proactive in visualizing what you want in life when these situations come up and SCRIPT a different outcome.

8) Realize that it’s your job to look for solutions in life. Stop focusing on the negative “bad” day’s events. Your POWER in life is seeking out the solutions to the challenges you face.

I hope you utilize these hacks when you feel a bad day is upon you. Remember, in the big scheme of your life – you probably won’t remember what happened. Stop spending $100 worth of energy on a 10 cent problem!

If you’d like more information like this – Join us for our Vision Quest for Profit & Purpose in Virginia Beach, VA
on October 5-6, 2017

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